..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
