winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
