I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wish my penis had a tongue
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
