I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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