Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
