bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
