OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can't talk, ducks in the car
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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