? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
