Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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