Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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