Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
