honey bunches of taint.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize