I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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