im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
