its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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