so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
