Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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