hotel room ftw
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
