I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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