mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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