If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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