3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
