He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize