Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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