I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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