do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
