I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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