I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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