Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
