If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
