ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
