The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
