guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
