and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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