So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
