I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
did you just send me my own nude
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
