Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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