Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
