why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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