random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize