I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
