I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
