Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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