The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
