So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
