forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
