Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
