if you like me you must not know who I am
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
