i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
