and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
