i think i have two assholes
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
