If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
