Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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