My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
