We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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