We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
