I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
