So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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