Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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