We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
