why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
