I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
