So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
being pregnant is like rehab
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
