I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
