Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do vagina's smell?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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