Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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