What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
