I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize