I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
