its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
