We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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