Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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